...but if you missed it, check it out here. You'll feel just like you were there.

1. Bring a pillow. Fall asleep (or pretend to) until the last 15 minutes. Wake up, say "oh geez, better get cracking" and do some gibberish work. Turn it in a few minutes early.

2. Get a copy of the exam, run out screaming "Andre, Andre, I've got the secret documents!!"

3. If it is a math/science exam, answer in essay form. If it is long answer/essay form, answer with numbers and symbols. Be creative. Use the integral symbol.

4. Make paper airplanes out of the exam. Aim them at the instructor's left nostril.

5. Talk the entire way through the exam. Read questions aloud, debate your answers with yourself out loud. If asked to stop, yell out, "I'm so sure you can hear me thinking. " Then start talking about what a jerk the instructor is.

6. Bring cheerleaders.

7. Walk in, get the exam, sit down. About five minutes into it, loudly say to the instructor, "I don't understand any of this. I've been to every lecture all semester long! What's the deal? And who are you? Where's the regular guy?"

8. Bring a Game Boy (or Game Gear, etc. . . ). Play with the volume at max level.

9. On the answer sheet (book, whatever) find a new, interesting way to refuse to answer every question. For example: I refuse to answer this question on the grounds that it conflicts with my religious beliefs. Be creative.

10. Bring pets.

11. Run into the exam room looking about frantically. Breathe a sigh of relief. Go to the instructor, say "They've found me, I have to leave the country" and run off.

12. Fifteen minutes into the exam, stand up, rip up all the papers into very small pieces, throw them into the air and yell out "Merry Christmas. "If you're really daring, ask for another copy of the exam. Say you lost the first one. Repeat this process every fifteen minutes.

13. Do the exam with crayons, paint, or fluorescent markers.

14. Come into the exam wearing slippers, a bathrobe, a towel on your head, and nothing else.

15. Come down with a BAD case of Turet's Syndrome during the exam. Be as vulgar as possible.

16. Do the entire exam in another language. If you don't know one, make one up! For math/science exams, try using Roman numerals.

17. Bring things to throw at the instructor when s/he's not looking. Blame it on the person nearest to you.

18. As soon as the instructor hands you the exam, eat it.

19. Walk into the exam with an entourage. Claim you are going to be taping your next video during the exam. Try to get the instructor to let them stay, be persuasive. Tell the instructor to expect a percentage of the profits if they are allowed to stay.

20. Every five minutes, stand up, collect all your things, move to another seat, continue with the exam.

21. Turn in the exam approximately 30 minutes into it. As you walk out, start commenting on how easy it was.

22. Do the entire exam as if it was multiple choice and true/false. If it is a multiple choice exam, spell out interesting things (DCCAB. BABE. etc. . ).

23. Bring a black marker. Return the exam with all questions and answers completely blacked out.

24. Get the exam. Twenty minutes into it, throw your papers down violently, scream out "Forget this!" and walk out triumphantly.

25. Arrange a protest before the exam starts (i. e. Threaten the instructor that whether or not everyone's done, they are all leaving after one hour to go drink)

26. Show up completely drunk. (Completely drunk means at some point during the exam, you should start crying for mommy).

27. Every now and then, clap twice rapidly. If the instructor asks why, tell him/her in a very derogatory tone, "the light bulb that goes on above my head when I get an idea is hooked up to a clapper. DUH!"

28. Comment on how sexy the instructor is looking that day.

29. Come to the exam wearing a black cloak. After about 30 minutes, put on a white mask and start yelling "I'm here, the phantom of the opera" until they drag you away.

30. Go to an exam for a class you have no clue about, where you know the class is very small, and the instructor would recognize you if you belonged. Claim that you have been to every lecture. Fight for your right to take the exam.

31. Upon receiving the exam, look it over, while laughing loudly, say "you don't really expect me to waste my time on this drivel? Days of our Lives is on!!!"

32. Bring a water pistol with you.

33. From the moment the exam begins, hum the theme to Jeopardy. Ignore the instructor's requests for you to stop. When they finally get you to leave one way or another, begin whistling the theme to the Bridge on the River Kwai.

34. Start a brawl in the middle of the exam.

35. If the exam is math/science related, make up the longest proofs you could possibly think of. Get pi and imaginary numbers into most equations. If it is a written exam, relate everything to your own life story.

36. Come in wearing a full knight's outfit, complete with sword and shield.

37. Bring a friend to give you a back massage the entire way through the exam. Insist this person is needed, because you have bad circulation.

38. Bring cheat sheets for another class (make sure this is obvious. . . like history notes for a calculus exam. . . otherwise you're not just failing, you're getting kicked out too) and staple them to the exam, with the comment "Please use the attached notes for references as you see fit. "

39. When you walk in, complain about the heat.

40. After you get the exam, call the instructor over, point to any question, ask for the answer. Try to work it out of him/her.

41. One word: Wrestlemania.

42. Bring balloons, blow them up, start throwing them around like they do before concerts start.

43. Try to get people in the room to do the wave.

44. Play frisbee with a friend at the other side of the room.

45. Bring one pencil with a very sharp point. Break the point off your paper. Sharpen the pencil. Repeat this process for one hour.

46. Get deliveries of candy, flowers, balloons, telegrams, etc. . . sent to you every few minutes throughout the exam.

47. During the exam, take apart everything around you. Desks, chairs, anything you can reach.

48. Complete the exam with everything you write being backwards at a 90 degree angle.

49. Bring a musical instrument with you, play various tunes. If you are asked to stop, say "it helps me think. " Bring a copy of the Student Handbook with you, challenging the instructor to find the section on musical instruments during finals. Don't forget to use the phrase "Told you so".

50. Answer the exam with the "Top Ten Reasons Why Professor xxxx is a Terrible Teacher"

In case anyone's noticed, the Internet wireless keeps dying in the library. Why? Apparently, too many people are chilling in the library watching videos to keep their minds off studying, and now, we've killed the internet. It should come back (at some point, maybe?) so keep your fingers crossed.

If you get a chance, go ahead and check out the National Halloween Costume Contest winner - no, not from Bates, unfortunately, but it is a pretty cool costume. Go check out the winner (and all the entrants, including Bates') here and enjoy those last precious weeks before finals - we're not sure if we'll survive.

Did you hear? Bates College is the 6th most expensive college in the United States. Pretty impressive. The schools above us? Conn College, NYU, Sarah Lawrence, and GWU. Colby is clocking in at #20 (though our tuition is less than $1000  more than theirs) and Bowdoin doesn't even make the list.

Oh Bates. No wonder our endowment is so low - we'll be paying off our educations for the next thirty years, and it's not fun to get a donation request after writing out a $200 student loan check. Just saying...

You can check out the full list here and see for yourself.

We sure hope so, because Halloween is right around the corner. Obviously, the Jolt is doing its annual Halloween contest, and we're super excited to offer a $100 cash prize to the Bates winner - how awesome is that? That's a lot of Papa John's and Milt's.

And obviously, don't forget Trick or Drink on Wednesday the 29th (we hear that first years have a mandatory speaker that night - poor things) and the Halloween Dance on November 1. Get ready to get rowdy and all decked out, because the winner of the national contest gets an iPod Touch, which is pretty awesome.

Hope you guys are ready for a thirsty Thursday with the WRBC concert - Yeasayer, at 9:30pm. They self identify as ""Middle Eastern-psych-snap-gospel" ... uhhh, what? Anyway, they're in Maine for one night only, and YOU get to enjoy their music in the lovely Old Commons.

We took the liberty of checking out some of their stuff and it's pretty interesting. And midterms should be finishing up, so you definitely have time to get out there, put on your dancing shoes, and rock out. Check out their Mypsace here and decided for yourself.

Hopefully you made it through midterms okay and are ready to embark on October break - the most awkward break of the year, since no one else is home. Relax, rest, recuperate - and remember when you get back, there's only 5 class weeks left till finals!

Who doesn't love baseball? The International Herald Tribune has picked up on our very own Margaret Creighton's FYS "Red Sox Nation." Hmm... wonder if there are any Yankees fans in that class? If you'll read the article, you'll find out they dress up in baseball shirts and hats for class too - hmm. We never get to play dress up in class, maybe we should take first year seminars every year...

Chances are that you were at the Girl Talk show last night, and witnessed a pretty crazy scene. When he first came on, what looked like hundreds of kids rushed the stage to the point where Greg Gills was holding onto his equipment so the kids that were pushing wouldn’t end the show. And guess what happened? Yup, the table got knocked over anyways, along with some other technical difficulties along the way. Now correct me if I’m wrong, but this seems very uncharacteristic of Bates. I talked to someone who saw Girl Talk at the All Points West show, with a lot more people, and said everyone was chill. I’m not saying it wasn’t a great show, it was for the most part, but it could have done without the gratuitous shoving. When he came back on, he said something to the effect of “Where I come from, if a party is getting shut down, it’s going in the right direction”, to which the audience replied with thunderous shouts and cheers. From then on the show went smoothly. Some pictures will be posted shortly.

            It was also an “exciting” night for Bates EMS as well, as they had already had 7 calls before midnight, including some students that were struck by a car. More details to follow when we get them.

            What did you think of the show? Talk about it in the Bates Forum.

The Maine League of Young Voters is putting together an awesome daylong concert next Saturday (Sept. 27) on Middle Street, right outside of She Doesn't Like Guthrie's. They're closing down the street to put on a voter registration concert, with bands like Dreamosaic, Breaking Strings, Vanessa Torres and Touching Ground and more. Bands and vendors will perform from 12pm-6pm and there is no cover - it's totally free. So head down, check out some bands, grab some food, and register. For more info, visit myspace.com/guthries.